I no longer wonder what it would be like to be hit by Raffi Torres -- because smashing down on the rightmost pedal in the
Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is pretty much the same thing.
Partly, that's why generating a fair and comprehensive review of this factory-tuned, track-ready sport 'ute is going to be a bit of a problem. Turns out, the lung-squeezing acceleration, 20” wheels, heat extractors, Brembo brakes, and lowered suspension have deactivated the cupholder, comfort and legroom receptors in the car-reviewer side of my brain.
Plus, I returned it two weeks ago, and the exhaust note is still playing in my head.
Performance first
Yes: The Grand Cherokee SRT8 has side airbags, a big trunk and can haul your sailboat off to the cottage. But it's also got acceleration that rivals a drag-car on slicks, and makes noises like automatic gunfire when you dip into the sauce. Whenever you're so inclined, it'll peel the faces off everyone on board with its massive acceleration and cornering grip.
And unlike high-dollar rocket 'utes from Germany (BMW X5M,
Porsche Cayenne Turbo, et al.), there's nothing discreet about the Grand Cherokee SRT8's looks. While moving, it's only slightly less intimidating than a road-going scud missile.
So, yeah. I couldn't care less about the navigation system. Or the heated seats. Or the 120-volt power outlet in the back seat. Or the power tailgate.
SRT Power
Under the hood-mounted heat extractors, Chrysler's latest SRT V8 engine cranks out 475 horses. That's 50 more than the last-generation engine -- an increase facilitated mainly by punching the thing out to a highly effective 6.4 litres. This engine has one camshaft and makes power the old fashioned way: by being massive.
The big V8 awakens from its slumber with a loud, almost offensive belch. Rev it up, and small creatures nearby run for cover. The entire thing exhales through a set of dual exhausts with pipes big enough to stuff your fist into. It's delightfully, ridiculously American.
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| Under the hood-mounted heat extractors, Chrysler's latest SRT V8 engine cranks out 475 horses. (Photo: Justin Pritchard) |
Almost too fast
It's also very, very fast. The 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 would have any number of high-dollar, two-seat posh-rockets for lunch at a traffic light. Even with the family on board, all while switching gears like a late-'80s Dodge pickup with a shift kit, thanks to the beefed up five-speed automatic.
This is the only SRT vehicle with All Wheel Drive (AWD). That means it's the only one you can use all year round. It also means there's no spin, slippage or drama when coming off the line at full blast. Combined tire width at each axle on par with a 50-gallon barrel helps, too. Full throttle, it feels like you've been rear ended by a dump truck. Or body checked by Mr. Torres.
And if all the acceleration and sound effects weren't enough, drivers can even pick “Sport” or “Track” mode from a console-mounted dial to crank up various systems and make the SRT8 even more threatening to their license.
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| It's also very, very fast. The 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 would have any number of high-dollar, two-seat posh-rockets for lunch at a traffic light. (Photo: Dodge) |
Family-ready handling weapon
But make no mistake; this isn't a mere rocket-propelled drag racer.
On a handling course, I noted quick steering and a tight suspension that worked towards a flat, confident dynamic when you rip it around. This SRT8 isn't “handling on rails” planted, but instead favours a slightly slippery, tail-happy dynamic that adds a lively feel and keeps drivers grinning.
So it's impressive not only for its grippiness, but also for how it dances around when you push your luck a little.
And with instant lift-off oversteer and tightly controlled body movements, the SRT8 really puts on a hell of a show. It's flattering and predictable and extremely competent at its limit. Driven hard, the SRT8 still makes drivers feel as though they're at the reins of a wild beast -- but one that's at least, to some degree, interested in behaving itself. The Brembo brakes could offer a bit more feedback, but stopping power is crushing and fade-free. (The red brake calipers are a safety feature, if the wife asks.)
If there's a more capable, track-ready and entertaining sport 'ute than this one, I don't know what it is.
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| The Brembo brakes could offer a bit more feedback, but stopping power is crushing and fade-free. (Photo: Justin Pritchard) |
Day-to-day friendly
Engineers managed all of that without ruining the ride on the road. The suspension is firm and keeps the wheels sprung tightly against the SRT8's body -- meaning the ride can get a bit busy and bouncy on some surfaces. But, relative to the available handling, it's pretty easygoing indeed. The very quiet ride and luxurious, family-ready spaciousness found in the standard Grand Cherokee remain for this one, too.
As an all-around performance weapon you can use any day you like, this thing largely nails it.
Just watch your right foot, as fuel mileage can easily exceed 20L/100km if you don't. Mind you, that's irrelevant -- because the performance this machine puts on is priceless.
If you've got a family, like going really fast, know a good traffic lawyer and enjoy turning premium unleaded into really cool sound effects, you need to get some test-drive time in one of these.
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