Auto News 5

If you own or ride in a vehicle, you may have, at some point, been the perpetrator or victim of a mischievous activity called the Neutral Bomb.

A Neutral Bomb occurs when the passenger, unknown to the driver, sneaks the vehicle's shift lever into ‘neutral' while the vehicle is stopped at a light or stop sign, or while cruising down the highway.

The driver, believing his engine is still connected to the wheels, will request forward motion via the throttle but be left with a free-spinning engine and a car that's going nowhere fast.

It's a good laugh for all involved - especially if the driver hurriedly pops the shifter back into ‘drive' while the engine is revving away and lays a patch.

2011 Audi R8 Spyder (Photo: Matthieu Lambert/Auto123.com)

As a Neutral Bomb expert and victim, I offer the following pointers for those wishing to participate in (and protect themselves from) the act of Neutral Bombing.

• Peripheral vision lets drivers see mischievous hands reaching for the shifter and is the Neutral Bomber's enemy. Wait for the driver to look left at a stoplight, to search for something in the vehicle, or to otherwise become distracted away from the gear shifter. Careful attention to the driver's line of sight makes neutral-bombing easier.
   
• Drive-thru time is Neutral Bomb time. While the driver is engaged with the window attendant in anticipation of a delicious coffee or bagful of cheeseburgers, knock the shifter into neutral. Drive-thru staff can enjoy the shenanigans when he or she tries to take off.
   
• With a column-shift vehicle, Neutral Bombing is tricky. A distraction can help. Some suggestions include pointing at a gas station sign and saying ‘holy cow, look how much gas is!', or pointing out the driver's side of the vehicle and asking ‘wow, is that the new SRT Viper?' That hot chick in the car you just passed is another solid distraction. You'll have less than 1.5 seconds to do the deed - so act quickly. Extra points when successfully completing a neutral bomb on a column-shift vehicle.
   
• Be sneaky. It's not a Neutral Bomb if the driver re-engages ‘drive' before stepping on the accelerator again.
   
• If your driver has become accustomed to your Neutral Bombing, place a bag of delicious peanut butter cookies on the console ahead of the shifter. Once the driver has accepted your occasional cookie-reaching, capitalize on the situation by executing a neutral bomb about halfway through the bag of cookies. Gummy worms work as well.
   
• Neutral Bomb etiquette states that within 10 seconds of being neutral-bombed, the driver may retaliate with a Charlie-horse to your thigh. Protect yourself by wielding a heavy, blunt object. A tire iron works well.
   
• Some vehicles use a gated-style shifter which can't be placed into neutral unless the driver touches the brake pedal. Identify these shifters, and plan to execute your Neutral Bomb as the vehicle is being slowed down for an intersection or stop sign.
   
• Noisy shifter giving your Neutral Bombs away? Crank up a great tune, cough excessively or belch loudly - then do your work.
   
• Neutral Bombing is more interesting when the driver is stopped on a hill. When the vehicle rolls backwards once the brakes are released, the driver is likely to panic and pop the shifter back into drive with the engine revving. This will likely result in laying a patch. Maximum points here.